It's kind of nice to have a place where I can just be me, and not have to worry about who is or is not reading this. For example, I was going through some of Will's older journal posting, and I realized that many of them were very negative and filled with MY fears. They didn't really focus on Will that much. That why I decided to create my own Blog Spot, so I can say what I want, when I want and not worry about cluttering up Will's site with my opinions.
I have found myself in a really "rut" lately that I can't seem to get myself out of. I have found that over the past few months I have started eating a lot more, I am watching way more TV and I am spending way to my money (when I have it). My daily routine is eat and lay on the couch and watch reality shows that I could really care less about. My doctor told me last month that I have gained 30lbs since last year......and yet I keep shoveling it in! No motavation! No get-up-and-go! No Nothing.......
So yesterday I went to the YMCA to fill out the paper work to change my membership status. I have deffered it for four months in order to save money. I was going to cancel it, but the truth is I love going....when I can get my butt off the couch long enough to find my tennis shoes! So here is the deal.....I am giving myself three months. Begining today, I have until March 1st to get in gear. If I cannot or will not make the much needed changes then I will drop my memebership.
So my plan is to workout at LEAST three times a week (more would be great, but three is pushing it) and see what happens. I am not going to say I am giving up certain foods, so I am going to say I will "cut back" as much as possible. To be honest......along with hoping to fit back into my cute clothes, I REALLY just want to feel better. I have NO energy and no desire to do anything. So we will see what happens during the next three months.
Work is getting better. I have found that the less information I give about Will and our situation the better. They have no idea what all is going on inside my head and how many different directions I feel pulled in. The important thing is I go to work, I do my job well, and I stay off the radar.
Will is doing pretty good. He had a virus of some sort last week, and gave me a scare when he spiked a fever, but he is okay. I know how dangerous a serious infection can be right now so keeping him healthy is top priority. However that is pretty hard to do when he refuses to eat anything. I am hoping that things will change with Basketball season just around the corner. That is the one thing that seems to get him motivated. He will be playing on two different teams this year - one at his school and one at the YMCA. He is very excited.
Enough for today.....I will chat with you later.......
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3 comments:
Kayla, You will be so glad you started working out again. Yes, you will have to make yourself go, but you WILL see results soon! You are a beautiful woman no matter how much weight you have gained! You have been under so much stress and working out with help you feel better about EVERYTHING! Take care. Still praying for you all! Love, Jane
Way to go, Kayla! I can totally relate to not wanting to go out and exercise - but you are doing it the right way!
A couple of years ago I decided that, if I couldn't lose weight (didn't want to go on another diet because they never really worked for me), at least I wanted to be a bit fitter - so I started jogging. It was so tough to convince myself to keep it up (and in the winter going to the gym instead) - but it helpd - and I did lose weight, too, even though it wasn't even a priority.
Then I started making changes to my eating habits - no diet, just being a bit more careful about fat, mainly, and eating wholemeal products more. But I could never do without cakes, ice-cream or chocolate - pizza and other good stuff. I just started to get a healthier balance.
It took time - which was frustrating - but a slow weight-loss is also heealthier and lasts longer. I ended up losing 17 kilos and while this still isn't enough I never wanted to lose much more weight - I thought I was going to look wierd. *LOL*
I'be put on a couple of kilos lately as I've been slacking - but your blog has inspired me to try and pull myslef together again.
3 times a week is what I do as well - more can easily get too much, so it's really ideal.
Shame we can't go together...but now every time I go to the gym or jogging I'll be thinking of you and sending you encouraging thought - and if you do the same it'll almost be like working out together ;)
Take care!
I'll try to donate.that's so sweet to and i'm going out with him to.also i'll give him a present.
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