Decisions..........

Wow! I have to say that Dr. Farid Boulad just blew me away! He was so interesting and his expertise is amazing. I am so confused on "where" to go now.......before this week I was about 90% leaning toward Cincy. I think I have ruled out Minnesota (but maybe not), only because I feel just as confident that Will can get the same quality of care in Cincinnati. Since we have been going to Cincinnati for six years, we are comfortable there and it feels good. Now, out of nowhere comes NEW YORK!

One thing about NY that I didn't care for was the Ronald McDonald House. I know that beggars can't be choosers, but I have stayed at two other RMD's and I have to tell you this just didn't do it for me. It was rather dreary and not at all open and inviting. It was nothing like Cincy or Minnesota. The rooms were "okay" as far as that goes, but they would definitely have to have a good cleaning! There was "mold" on our shower curtain. The decor was dark.......I really didn't feel comfortable there.

Also, I can't believe how much money I spent! I mean all the siteseeing we did was free, so how is it that I spent a ton of cash??? TAXI's! They are outragious! Food is way over priced too. I am not sure I can afford to take Will to transplant in NY!

Dr. Boulad was incredible! He is such a kid person. Will really like him a lot. He went into great detail about the transplant and how he is just a little bit different from the others. He really explained a lot about T-cells, in great detail. He also explained how he doesn't use steriods as long as the other centers. I mean he was awesome!

I think it works to our benefit that he and Dr. Gilman have worked together. Dr. Gilman is located here in Charlotte and will be our follow up care (I hope). I haven't broken the news to him that we have decided not to have it done at Levine's, but I would love to still have him on Will's local care team. I hope that works out.

Then......there's Cincinnati! We LOVE them there. We love the hospital, the city, the people, the RMH.....everything! Why am I so hesitant to just confirm Cincy???? I don't know? I mean I love them.....so why can't I just go with that? I am so confused! I really love Dr. Davies and Dr. Smith from Cincy too.

I am just going to pray about it and see where I am led. I will keep you posted!

K.

God is good!

I don't even know what to say, except Praise God! I have really special angels out there looking out for me.

I got some WONDERFUL news yesterday regarding our benefits here at work! Nothing is confirmed yet, but there are plans in motions to start offering us some paid holiday, paid time off and maybe even a better insurance plan! I can't tell you have great that would be!!!

I am not so depressed today. I see a light at the end of the tunnel.....I just have to keep myself out of the tunnel going forward. I can do it.

The big plan now is to focus on Will and start saving money for transplant. I don't want to have to depend on anyone for anything during that time. My family has already said that is no financial help from them at all. That really hurts to hear, but it make me more determined to not even ask.

I know God will take care of us, and I feel like he is giving me a chance to prove myself now. We will be okay.

Will is feeling so much better! He is so looking forward to seeing Emily. He loves her so much. He has already bought her Christmas present. He picked it out, and paid for it with his own money. He is so excited! He wants to go ahead and give it to her now. I know she doesn't read this, so I can tell you that it's a tie-dye poster with a peace sign on it. He is so thoughtful....and that is SO her! I don't even want to think about Christmas shopping this year! I have already gotten my niece and nephew.....and now I only have to buy for my kids. Everyone else is SOL.

I have a VERY busy weekend! Meeting at church, a Godstock Fundraiser, a church picnic and visit at my dad's at some time......

Have a great weekend!

$$$

Well have gotten myself in such a bind, and I am not sure what to do next. I hate that so many things in this world have to revolve around the mighty dollar. Everyone says money can't buy happiness, but it sure can cause a lot of pain and frustration. Why? Why must I worry about things like Insurance, mortgage, child support, bills, groceries.......and everyday expenses?

Why is it that a man will create a fictitious company and have half his income paid out to that company....just to avoid paying child support? Why is it that a man can own FOUR houses, TWO cars, a van, a boat, a jet ski and God knows what else.....but he doesn't pay his child support on time and doesn't pay nearly enough consider his net worth?? Why doesn't he ever see his son, or take an interest in his life? Why doesn't he care that his son is about to go through a HORRIBLE experience of having a bone marrow transplant? I will NEVER understand!

Since I lost my job at BOA and all the benefits that go with it my finances have taking a beating. I have been out of work over the past 5 months about 2 weeks without pay. I have traveled to Cincinnati, spent money I didn't have and then had to pay for medication that is now finally approved through insurance.

I am just VERY frustrated right now. I know things will get better, but right now I need to just have a good cry (and maybe a cigarette).

This too will pass.....